It’s been a real struggle with life. In short:
Newborn twins
Wife’s wound breakdown
Raya with it’s attendand trips
Work
In just a couple of months, my new car (which I still haven’t posted yet after drafting for so long) has already logged 6K km. It’s been a killer routine of travelling between KL and Melaka post call, pre call, whatever; this is so that I can do the wound dressing properly. There have been a few events of me falling asleep at the wheel, even when I nap at every rest stop. The wound has just began to healing enough to comfortably let my wife clean it herself. This is not easy as it’s not exactly an accessible area.
The lack of sleep has made my work suffer greatly. My arms are full of self-mutilation marks from keeping myself awake while driving. Deep down I feel bad as I literally can’t stay awake during the calls. This is despite drinking probably a 1.5L equivalent of coffee during them. To drag myself to the gym I’m forced to drink coffee and energy drinks (sugar-free) together; with that I’m still yawning during training. My academic work has come to a complete stop. This is even after taking a full month off of work.
More travel and the need to buy own dressing supplies and Raya expenses (which to me the past few years holds no meaning to me; it’s just another stressful period with more expenses, stress and no rest) has made me broke. But I’ve no time at all to fit in cooking like I used to. So it’s literally fast food every day. The lack of opportunities to promote the biscuits this year did not help things either.
I wanted to go to the gym last night, but I overslept and woke up at 3 am. So here I am.
Life’s not great at the moment, and at times I’d wish I could just die happily at the gym from overstraining myself. Cause I’m not happy with myself and the situation.
