Trying to Get Back On Track, If It's Ever Possible by Muhammad Amir Ayub

It’s been a real struggle with life. In short:

  1. Newborn twins

  2. Wife’s wound breakdown

  3. Raya with it’s attendand trips

  4. Work

In just a couple of months, my new car (which I still haven’t posted yet after drafting for so long) has already logged 6K km. It’s been a killer routine of travelling between KL and Melaka post call, pre call, whatever; this is so that I can do the wound dressing properly. There have been a few events of me falling asleep at the wheel, even when I nap at every rest stop. The wound has just began to healing enough to comfortably let my wife clean it herself. This is not easy as it’s not exactly an accessible area.

The lack of sleep has made my work suffer greatly. My arms are full of self-mutilation marks from keeping myself awake while driving. Deep down I feel bad as I literally can’t stay awake during the calls. This is despite drinking probably a 1.5L equivalent of coffee during them. To drag myself to the gym I’m forced to drink coffee and energy drinks (sugar-free) together; with that I’m still yawning during training. My academic work has come to a complete stop. This is even after taking a full month off of work.

More travel and the need to buy own dressing supplies and Raya expenses (which to me the past few years holds no meaning to me; it’s just another stressful period with more expenses, stress and no rest) has made me broke. But I’ve no time at all to fit in cooking like I used to. So it’s literally fast food every day. The lack of opportunities to promote the biscuits this year did not help things either.

I wanted to go to the gym last night, but I overslept and woke up at 3 am. So here I am.

Life’s not great at the moment, and at times I’d wish I could just die happily at the gym from overstraining myself. Cause I’m not happy with myself and the situation.

On Being A Doctor Husband by Muhammad Amir Ayub

It’s been a challenging two weeks in the family. My wife delivered twins via an operation after a failed normal delivery. However, it has been complicated by a wound breakdown from infection.

What made me particularly unhappy was the fact that I have already noticed that the wound didn’t appear too healthy to me, and thus I’ve began dressing it. However, the nurses and other doctors all noted that the wound was healthy; my wife was even discharged from follow up. I usually try to be a “good husband” and not a doctor husband, and allow others to do their job. But as it was becoming clearer that the management was wrong, I was forced to take things into my own hands. So I called up a specialist colleague (bypassing any protocol) to have a look and behold: after opening the wound by the bedside, out goes pus.

The subsequent plan was difficult. My wife is nursing twins, which means double of everything, while nursing an infected wound. When she was in the hospital during the post-delivery period, finally getting transferred to a first class single bedded room was important for 1 thing: allowing me unfettered access to help out. I was more or less living in the hospital, and usually sleeping in the car. The other kids needed help with daily living and schooling (my in-laws were helping out as per usual). I can’t be both at home and the hospital, especially not when the overwhelmed parking in Hospital Melaka shows only worsening from the time I left to Hospital Kuala Lumpur to work. Me being a meathead has failed miserably to get anyone else to eat more protein. This is an opportunity to do so.

The medical management was of course dressing, antibiotics, and secondary closure. The decision would be inpatient care or outpatient dressing. Taking into consideration all of the factors, we have decided for the latter. And despite getting a slip for dressing at the clinic, I decided to do the dressing myself, for a few reasons:

  1. As the wound was very sloughy, it needed a minimum of 2 dressings a day. Actually I’ve been doing it 3 times a day until now, and it has definitely shown much improvement. The timing doesn’t really matter in the sense that we are not bound to normal working hours, so I can do the dressing at times convenient to me. This has meant doing dressing at 2 am, to get things done. After 1 day, there was no more pus, but there was slough to be dressed. And today morning, I couldn’t see any of that.

  2. I can be as meticulous as I want in doing the dressing. I can take my time differentiating which is slough, or fat/granulation tissue. I can selectively remove what I want while avoiding unnecessary trauma to the rest. In the clinic setting, they are undeniably under time pressure, and this may not help in preserving what is healthy in the wound.

  3. I can choose the materials I want. This problem has led me to (predictably) spend hours reading up on wound care. Everyone has their opinions and biases, costs to think of. At the end of the day I’ve settled on Dermacyn soaked gauze (cut into a ribbon) + Tegaderm. With this, I’d get antisepsis, autolytic debridement, exudate control, and protection against external contamination. I’ve been using Bactigras on and off; the problem is that I get less slough removal for the protection of the other areas with healthy granulation tissue. However, this is much more expensive than good old normal saline soaked gauze + tape. But I wanted accelerated results, and felt that this can reasonably facilitate that. And it allows my wife to go about (and bathe) without worry of contaminating the wound, e.g. with simple sweat. Does anyone have any idea of how hot Melaka is nowadays? I can’t stand it.

Hopefully my wife’s wound would continue to improve, and the next issue of closure would have to be entertained. And soon after that, some normalcy in life.

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Sekut Emjays 2019 by Muhammad Amir Ayub

It’s a new Ramadhan, and a new season of buying cookies made by our friends, sold by yours truly. New prices for the year are here, and we can deliver within the KL/Melaka area during the latter part of the month onwards for a 10 ringgit fee.

Get high quality chef-cooked food delivered straight to your doorstep in Kuala Lumpur and Klang Valley. Choose from a variety of local and international favorites made from the finest of recipes.